Worst Jokes Ever
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
The world exploded, so now I need to visit Uranus.
How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
-->[]life death[]<--
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
Why did the orange stop? Because it ran out of juice.
-->[] go through the door if you can.
Hey guess what...
What...
My penis is big.
Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? 😂😭
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?
The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.
What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?
The picture only takes one nail to hang.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ken.
Ken who?
Can you walk the dog for me?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Interrupting cow." "Interrupting cow wh-" "MOO!"
Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.