Worst Jokes Ever

Why can't orphans go to movies?

There PG-13 movies.

Your mom's so fat, the photo from last Christmas is still printing!

I almost got caught watching porn. My mom got the bill for the account, but luckily dad had my back. I mean, we do use the same account.

Doin (DYM 5).

Why are Americans bad chess players?

Because they lost two towers.

If an orange is orange, does that mean it's orange?

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.

I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.

What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?

An H2hoe.

What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"

What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.

Your mom is ugly.

Gaming with the gaming controller.

My ex misses me, but her aim is getting better.

Why did the Mexican take Xanax?

For Hispanic attacks.

Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.

He never sees his kids.

Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?

Neither has he.

Doctor: Tomorrow is like John Cena, you won’t see it.

How did Helen Keller lose her virginity?

I told her the plunger was stuck in the toilet, but she didn’t listen...

When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.