What does a Russian do for entertainment?
A nuclear world fair.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
Doin (DYM 4)
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
Why do special ed classes have fans?
To keep the vegetables nice and fresh.
Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”
61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69... mouthwash.
I hate family reunions.
I see too many of my ex's there.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
What’s the difference between emos and Hitler?
Hitler didn’t post on social media when he wanted to kill himself.
Mom: Hey you! What are you doing?!
Me: Nothing, why?
Mom: You're supposed to do your ______.
Me that/every night: *sob*
Friends: Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, fine.
Me in head: Or maybe I'm not okay...
We are all just suicidal kids telling other kids not to do it.
Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Suicide.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and feel better.
Cooper, your mum gay, lol.
Yo mama so fat, she died!
Your forehead is too big. I can see my future when it shines.
