Drake has too much meat. Donate to the people in need.
If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.
What did Ahsan do?
Meow meow.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
What was so funnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
The bomb.
Q: Why do Americans fish with guns?
A: To shoot up the whole school.
Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?
A: Names.
Q: What's red during puberty?
A: The blood on my hands.
I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.
Why does nobody talk to the letter G?
Because it's always in the middle of awkward!
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.
Why did the African 3 year old cry?
He was having a midlife crisis.
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?
Because orange is the new black.
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
Michael Jackson goes to the doctor.
Michael Jackson: "Help, doctor, I've been shot!" Doctor: "I can't fix that, but I can change your skin color so it doesn't happen again."
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
TAOST, you didn't submit it, you fuck!
Why are gay dudes so rude?
Because they're fucking assholes.
Why is it cold in hospitals?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
The highest level of trust in the world is when two cannibals are each giving each other blowjobs.
