1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.
Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.
if h2o is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? h2o cubed.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be 10 babies in one trashcan. Morbid humor would be one baby in ten trashcans.
why can you not let a orphan touch a iPhone 7 because it would break if they touched the home button
I should name my dog Ariana Grande.
That way I could say that I fucked Ariana Grande.
What did the acorn say when it grew up?
Geometry.
(Geometry= "Gee, I'm a tree!")
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.
Me: Hey, do you wanna hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Why don't churches have WiFi?
Friend: Why?
Me: They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Yo mama so fat when she walked in the room we missed three seasons of our show
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What's the difference between "ooh" and "aah"?
About 3 inches.
P.S. Please comment and like!
I LOVE YOU JACK!
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
