Worst Jokes Ever

How come I have a father but not a dad?

He was a priest.

Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.

Somebody give me a peanut. I just ate an EpiPen.

What's America's no. 1 class?

Target practice.

What does a baby computer call his father?

Data!

"Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website."

WTF 850 COMMENTS???

Like if you're gay.

Dislike if you are lez.

I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Ok, there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now. Whoever that is, wanna chat? (I'm just bored)

I am looking for a Robert "Jamie" Weber. He is a friend of mine from 3rd grade that welcomed me as the new kid. I am currently in 6th grade going into 7th grade (summer brake).

My friend Andrew once told me that "weird is high and drunk at the same time."

What's autism! My name is Dee Snutz!

You're so skinny, if you take a bath you look like you're in an ocean. 🛀🏊‍♂️

You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.

Why do orphans love McDonald's?

Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."

What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?

Concentration camp.

What's the worst joke you ever heard?

What does a Chinese guy say to the love of his life?

"You're the ying to my yang!"