Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a herd of winning cows?

A topside.

What da dog doin'?

Ice cream truck drivers are the most sus people on earth. They’re adults who play children’s music and give ice cream to kids who approach their van.

I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout.

Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡

What's the difference between a hippie chick and a can of Spam?

After 6 months in the woods, you'll still eat the can of Spam.

I went to go mine for some gold, but then I saw some shorts.

Friend: "Your jokes are too short."

Me: "Zip it, my jokes are always golden."

Friend: "You're such an ingot, don't forget your jokes are always Aurum."

Me: "I know my jokes are Aurum; it's always because I always glitz."

Friend: "At least I have luminescent" (Get it? Lu mines cent)

What do the Twin Towers and murder victims have in common?

Both were owned by their own kind.

Five (DYM 123).

Why do Americans suck at chess?.......... They already lost two towers.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm stuck on the Eston Front, And so are f***ing you.

I want to die peacefully like my uncle, but I don’t own a car or have a garage.

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate?

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.

Miss you dad.

One time I tried running to home, but I forgot I don't have one, so I stayed at third.

I asked my mom where babies come from. She said I came from the adoption center.

Why did the orphan go to jail? Because he could finally have a home.

What's similar between a priest and McDonald's?

They both shove their meat in between 10 year old buns.

Hey Hunter, Thomas here.

Why did the plane cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Thanks guys, remember to like it, means a lot!

Why did the orphan cross the road?

Because he doesn't have parents.

The poop on the bus goes poopoopoopoo AHHHH! All day long.