When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"
Humanity.
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter.
Apparently when the helicopter caught fire, Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire, but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it!”
IF YOU ARE HAVING SEX AND YOUR FEET ARE OUT OF THE TENT IT DOESNT COUNT
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife then you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there
WHAT DO DINO NUGGIES AND THE BROWN M&M HAVE IN COMMON I WANT TO FUCK THEM BOTH
Dino nuggets are kinda hot. Also, I want to fuck the brown M&M.
Son: Dad, how was I born?
Dad: Your mum's a hoe.
Son: OK, what's a hoe?
Dad: Your mum.
WHAT IS A UNBORN BABIES OLYMPIC SPORT... DODGE THE COATHANGER
WHAT IS A UNBORN BABIES OLIMPIC SPORT... DODGE THE COATHANGER
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
WANT TO KNOW OF A FUNNY JOKE
WOMEN DRIVERS
Hello people, my name is Osama.
I'm back from the dead and I want to blow you.
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
Alex, respond to me, please! LOL
who wanna be my boyfriend
"Alex! We need to talk! Now!"
I see what you did there.
Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.
And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.
