Worst Jokes Ever

Are you a bullet?

*gets shot*

Poor Bubba got burnt up so bad in a house fire that the coroner needed someone to identify the body. So Bubba's two best friends (the three were inseparable) agreed. The first friend said, "Hard to tell, can you turn him over?" The coroner looked perplexed but did so. "Nope, that's not Bubba." The second friend said, "He's burnt up pretty bad, can you roll him over again?" The coroner didn't understand but rolled him over anyway. "Nope, that's not him." Pretty confused, the coroner asked, "How can you tell it's not him by rolling him over?" "Well, you see, Bubba had two assholes." "Impossible," the coroner replied. The friends said, "I don't know, but every time we went to town, everyone would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.'"

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Candis.

Candis who?

Candis nuts fit in your mouth?

Yo forehead is so freaking big, but not bigger than my BBC. 😏

All y'all weird af.

Why is Michael Jackson so weak?

I'm high and it's very hot.

I need some water, but I don't got none. AHAHA.

*fart* 👀 Oops!

What's an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

If I ever ran for public office, I'd make Rajan a call center employee again.

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

AOT > ur fav anime.

What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"

"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"

What sank the Titanic?

GODZILLA!

What do you call a Punjabi that’s drowning? Mandeep.

What happened when the man died? Yes.

Ads for meds be like: Chloroform, it's Chloroform, helps with itchy eyes. Side affects may include Acute Flaccid Myelitis (AFM), AIDS (HIV/AIDS), Alphaviruses, Alzheimer's Disease, Alzheimer's Diseases (Spanish), Arboviral Encephalitis, Arthritis, Babesiois, Cancer, Unintentional injuries, Chronic lower respiratory disease, Stroke and cerebrovascular diseases, Alzheimer's disease, Diabetes, Influenza and pneumonia.

If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

I would tell a scoliosis joke.

But that would be completely out of line.

Charli tries to roast me: Roses are red, violets are blue, and you look like poo.

Me: You must have been born on the highway because that's where most accidents happen.