in (DYM 71)
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart but apparently there is something in your heart so I already have scissors in my heart
My wife of 60 years told me, "Let's go upstairs and make love."
I just sighed and said, "Choose one, I can't do both."
Sometimes I wish I could use my school scissors on my heart.
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.
Mom: I made you.
What's the difference between your mom and a troll?
Nothing, they both look the same.
Why cant orphans play baseball? Cause they cant find home
i love you tina!
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut? People wants donuts
Riley....I...I think I wanna be more than friends.
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
i will always remember my grandfather's last words before he died: is that a real chainsaw?
Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.
xthegamer0 is 35. He grew up with GTA5 and is still playing it today.
Whats the diffrence betwwen an apple and a orphan? Apes get picked
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?" "Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."
The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
