Worst Jokes Ever
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
penis balls cum <3
Why is my dad gone?
I don't know.
What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
What can’t orphans do in baseball? Go to home.
What did the cancer doctor say?
You just got a new Christmas present—cancer!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
I made a website about orphans.
But I can’t make a home page.
What is the same thing between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Why are Michael Jackson and caviar so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, “What is this – a joke?”
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?
SawCon deez nutz!
What do a blonde chick and a turtle both have in common?
When they're on their backs, they're screwed.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
A woman has been raped by a man. She calls the police, and a policeman shows up.
Woman: "Please help, officer! I have been raped!"
Officer: "No problem, ma'am, I will just unrape you."
Woman: "What? Unrape me? How?"
Officer proceeds to bring back the rapist and forces the woman to rape the rapist back in order to cancel out the initial rape.