Worst Jokes Ever
Some marriages can make short people look like Shaquille O'Neal.
My friend that used to be married was making jokes about me being short. Then I told him, "Your marriage was so short it made me look like Shaquille O'Neal."
Your forehead is so big, even Galactus says, "Wow, that's big!"
What bees make milk?
Boob bees.
What do bees make milk from?
Boobees.
Ever heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth.
Little Jonny, what you like airplane? How? Because you fly fast and jump high.
What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?
White vans.
I used to be a fan, but after seeing her OnlyFans account, I'm a whole air conditioner.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
I know a Chinese joy rider, Tommy Tookamotor.
School shooting happens:
Foreign exchange student: Sobbing under desk.
American student: “First time?”
The student from Irak with an AK47: "RAtatata..."
A man is being sued for raping a deaf girl. The judge, showing his pinky:
"You should be ashamed, man, your conscience is even smaller than that!"
The girl, showing her arm:
"Mhhhmmhmm, mhhmhm!"
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
Why can’t orphans have sex?
Because they don’t have a daddy to run back to.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
What do you call a rabbit with a crooked dick?
Fucks funny.
"Hey, what's the Russian president's name?" "Putin?" "Yeah, Putin deez nuts in yo mouth!"
FIRST DATE
Man: "I work with animals every day." Woman: "Oh, how sweet! What is it that you do?" Man: "I'm a butcher..."
You'd think the Catholic Church would be in favor of condoms... less DNA evidence.