Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't you hear the pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent.
This website is darker than the kid that got arrested last week.
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Depression"
"Depression wh-"
ME!! *runs away*
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
Why can’t orphans go on a field trip?
Parent signature __________
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?
Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!
I like my dates like I like my wine...
Locked in a cellar and aged for 12 years.
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, “Make mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.”
When the drip is sus.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.
Why did the little girl cry twice?
Because you wiped your bloody shitty cock on her favorite teddy bear.
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
Kid: Where do I put this paper?
Teacher: I already said go ask your neighbors.
Kid: Ok. *Walks home to his neighbor's house*
Kid: Hey neighbor, I didn't know where to put this paper, and my teacher said to ask you. Do you know?
Neighbor: No, sorry, I don't.
Kid: Okay, bye! *Kid walks back to school.*
Kid: Teacher, my next-door neighbor didn't know.
Teacher: Ugh, you went home?!
Kid: Yes, you told me to!
Teacher: I meant at school!
Kid: Ohhhhhh!
Teacher: Duh!
I bought an anti-bullying wristband. I say I bought it; I stole it off a fat ginger kid.
What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?
"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
Cemeteries should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.