Worst Jokes Ever

Why the "hell" is this here?

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

What's a fish without eyes?

A fsh.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.

Are you a rope? Let's hang out by a tree and drink :)

How does the cheetah do in every race?

It’s always a cheetah.

"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)

What's missing in an orphanage computer?

"The motherboard."

What do u call an orphan that takes a photo?

A family photo!

I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.

I'd make a masturbation joke.

But they always get out of hand.

My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

Why don’t orphans know how to use a phone?

Because they don’t know where home is.

So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? Cus they always eat the bat.

Why did LankyboxGamesJustin go to the aquarium?

Because he's gonna dance with aquayyyyrium!

Why are pirates pirates?

Because they're Arrrrrrrggghhh!!!