Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Why can't homeless people buy a house?

'Cause they live on the streets.

Friend: Slavery isn't good.

Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.

Me: Shut up and get me a juice!

"Hey, kid, why are you so fat?"

"Why did you insult him? That's not nice."

"It won't matter, he's deaf."

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.

Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,

"Some asshole has my pen!"