Worst Jokes Ever
You were born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Q: How did Helen Keller get a concussion?
A: She kept stepping on a rake.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
A man walks into a bar. He sees a family court judge, his wife, her lawyer, and a police officer. He gets on his hands and knees and prays to God out loud. The bartender says, "Why are you praying?" He says, "Because I just saw the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse, and the bible tells me when I see them the end is at hand."
Why did Orphan become famous?
Because he didn't need parent permission.
Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?
A: Because they get liked.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't make a 9/11 joke?
What do you call it when orphans take a family photo? A selfie!
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
Sorry, I don't have a joke here... Just wondering how idiots end up here complaining about offensive jokes when you ended up here. You had to click that section on purpose, right? If you can't take it, piss the fuck off... If I'd be gay and I'd look up gay jokes and get offended... how stupid is that?
You people who look at this sight, shame on you, fucking idiots!
Went to see a psychic the other day.
I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"
So I turned around and left.
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
I hope you're happy.
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
Can I put my balls in your jaws?