Worst Jokes Ever
Hitler is amazing; he's dead but still alive because he did Nazi death coming. It never happened.
What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?
I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
What pictures do orphans take? Selfies.
What do you call a Downey with glasses?
No, me neither.
Wow, my own joke. Category: I problem won’t remember this.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
Do you know how to make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell them to clap until their parents come home.
I didn’t realize I had to put jokes into categories, my bad.
Unleash the jokers...👍
What’s green and smells of bacon?
KERMIT'S FINGERS ✌️
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"
Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can enjoy them as well.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
Fancy playing rodeo sex?
"OK then," she said!
Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!
I like balls.
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
Leaving for Disneyland! See you guys on Tuesday!
What's the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.