Worst Jokes Ever

My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

My sister told me words don't hurt her, so I chucked a dictionary at her.

The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."

Ariana Grande, where are you?

Hey Danda, :^, Alex, Dangggg, Alya Kuhl, Jessica, Samantha, and Ariana!

Family feud after finding out about Alabama.

I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.

How do you surprise a blind guy?

Say, "Surprise!"

Your hairline starts at the back of your head.

My hopes and dreams.

"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?

People complain we are overpopulated.

Well, then if we committed suicide, then why do they be sad? It's one less person to think about. Why complain about it when in the end we become sad people?

I can tell a joke :)

Twinkle, twinkle, there's a car Coming like a shooting star. I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Dragon.

Dragon deez nuts.

Dragon deez nuts who?

DRAGON DEEZ NUTS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!

Ur adopted.

My sister is so short she can't walk.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

So I laughed at their chalk outline.

What first went through Sally’s head when the Nazis came?

A bullet.

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!