Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
If an orphan was Spiderman, which movie would he be in?
"No Way Home."
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.
Why do orphans only eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What did the emo say to the popular kid?
"Go fuck yourself for thinking all emos cut because they don't... y'know, for a matter of fact, fuck all you guys..."
Yo mama so fat, she called Dr. Seuss and he couldn’t even rhyme back.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
I like my wine how I like my women: 7 years old, and locked up in my basement.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Why don’t we just call blue balls a cummy ache?
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't worry, I will be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.