Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
What’s similar between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside of her?
They’re both thinking, “Oh, shit, my mum’s gonna kill me!”
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
A blind man walked into a fish market and said... "Hello, ladies!"
What is stronger than family?
The tree Paul Walker hit.
What's the difference between a bad joke and an actually bad joke?
An actually bad joke is not funny, like this one!
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
"Among Us" tea water.
A computer usually has a HARD drive. LESSON. No wonder they remember things.
Computers are females because when they're down, you always charge her.
If girls are vegan, why do they suck dick?
What's the difference between family and cats...
Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.
What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?
“Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”
I hope death is a woman. That way, she'll never come for me.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
Yesterday, a guy threw a liter of milk at me.
How dairy!