Worst Jokes Ever
What borders on stupidity?
Canada and Mexico.
Simpsons.
Meet the Simpsons.
They're the greatest modern family.
From the town of Springfield.
They're a page right out of history.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Don't free Britney!
How do you get away with murder?
How do you get away with rape?
Why can an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
What do Marshall Tucker Band and Kobe Bryant have in common?
Their last big hit was "Fire on the Mountain."
The thing about 9/11 and the jokes about it, for most people it flew over their head, for some it flew into their head.
I went to a 90 minute prostitute once. She was a whore and a half, I tell ya!
My sister Wani is a dwarf, so I sit on her as a chair.
Any joke that I make about 9/11 has a tendency to crash and burn.
Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"
Girlfriend: "No."
Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
My gardener found a dead body. Of the old gardener!