Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a disabled person drowning?
A boat.
What do you call a Taliban in a bath bomb?
What do you call a wheelchair user in a fire?
Hot Wheels.
I think democracy is a scam. I love men and I love you. I love men and I love you. I love my dog. He won't sleep inside and I shitted my pants. I peed my pants. I smell bad. I took a shower and my dog was like, "Oh my god." I was like, "Oh." I was like, "Oh my god," and then I was like, "I shitted again" and he was like, "Bark bark," cause he's a dog. Thanks for listening.
What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?
"Log in."
When is a cold not a cold?
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.
How do you make rape funny? Tickle her while you do it.
I am curious how many likes this will get.
LIKE IT!!!!!
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
Cool little titbit.
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Yo mama is so fat that when I was printing a picture of her last year, it's still printing.
Yo mama is so stupid that she studied for a COVID test.
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "Sad"
Teacher: "Anyway, is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents!"