What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods? Dead.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What's a spider-man’s dream job? Web developer.
What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?
Kilometers Morales.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
What Did The Shark Say When He Ate The Clownfish? This Tastes A Little Funny.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
The hardest part of picking up a hitch hiker is tying them up.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
