What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.
What do strippers and peanut butter have in common? They both spread for bread.
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso expresso.
JK, it's bleach.
What’s the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
Why can't orphans go to sleepovers?
Their parents never say yes.
I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
I slit my wrist and said, "THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE!" So I did it again, but with a knife and said, "NOW *THAT'S* A LOT OF DAMAGE!" I then put watertight Flex Seal on the wound, and it didn't seal.
Little Jonny Bad Ass was sitting on a porch one day, and a preacher was in the house. Little Jonny Bad Ass had to use the bathroom, so he bangs on the door saying, "Mom, I have to use the bathroom!" His mom says wait. So Little Jonny Bad Ass saw a hat on the step. He looks around, pulls his pants down, and shits in the hat.
A few later, the preacher comes out and says, "I see you have my hat!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Yeah, I caught the world's fastest bird!" The preacher says, "Well, let me see him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "No, I don't know." Well, the preacher says, "I'll put my hands by the hat, you lift, and I'll catch him!" Little Jonny Bad Ass lifted the hat and the preacher clapped his hands, and Little Jonny Bad Ass says, "Now see the bird don't shit," and ran.
I remember locking my door, but then I went downstairs to hear someone say, "I'm inside your home." I said, "GTFO my house, BICH!"
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why can't orphans play cricket?
Because they can't find home.
Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
A: Apples get picked.
Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.
Poor bastard.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
