Why can't you solve a murder in Alabama?
All the DNA is identical and there are no dental records.
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
What's an emo black kid called? A dark Drakie.
I dated an orphan and then later married him for 7 years until he told me he was an orphan.
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Emo: Phone die) Emo: Why not me ;(
Yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
I asked an emo, "Do they get jealous when their phone dies?"
What's the difference between an emo kid and an apple? The apple falls from the tree.
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in milk?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a gay drive up?
A fruit roll-up.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call Daddy
Q: How many children does it take to shingle a roof?
A: Depends on how thinly you slice them.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.
Do you know what dogs and orphans don't have in common?
Dogs get loved.
My BFF asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?"
I said: "Why?"
My BFF says: "Well, it's because he was already cheating!"
I said: "KNEW IT!"
