Worst Jokes Ever
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
What do you call a horny emo who practices self-control?
An edgelord.
Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?
Because they keep cutting in line.
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
What do you call an emo committing suicide while filming it?
America’s Funniest Home Videos.
(lol)
"Baka Johnny, fat baka."
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
What do you call a failure in another language?
Me.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
Little Johnny was alone because Dad didn’t come back.
What does "the whole pile of poops" mean?
"The whole pile of shits."
How does Jesus whistle?
By blowing through the holes in his hands.
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
What do you call a one-legged China man?
Ty Whon Shu.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
Have you seen the inside of Ford's Theatre? It will blow your mind. ~Abraham Lincoln
Husband: Can we try anal tonight? Wife: Fuck that shit! Husband: That's the spirit!