Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't an orphan be gay?
They don't have anyone to call "daddy."
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
Why don't you take emo skydiving?
They cut the rope.
Me as a 5-year-old: How do you relate to the Twin Towers?
Friend: What?
Me: Every time I think of them, I feel sad.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?
So they will be wanted.
My boyfriend accused me of cheating. I told him he reminded me of my girlfriend.
Bully: Your mom hates you.
Orphan: I don't have parents ;)
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
Do you know Joe?
Joe mama, mama, a, a, mama, a, a, amam.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
Who's an orphan?
You are.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
Why did the NBA remove the glory hole from the men's locker room?
Too many black basketball players sucking too many white cocks before the game.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?
Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.
Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?
Tax credit.
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!