Worst Jokes Ever
You know what they say about dark humor: it hits harder than a drunk parent.
How do you call a mirror and an orphan?
Family reunion.
Muslim child to his mother: "Mom, why is my backpack so heavy?"
Mom: "Allahu Akbar, my son, Allahu Akbar!"
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
What do you call women's rights: A blank sheet of paper.
If she’s old enough to smoke, She’s old enough to choke.
If she’s old enough to pee, She’s old enough for me.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
I don't like calculator jokes because they are too overused.
How do emo bands prepare for their shows?
They self-harmonize.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
Why are washers better than babies?
Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
I like dildos.
What do Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
How did Helen Keller die?
Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it.
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
Just cum.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.