Worst Jokes Ever
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.
I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
... family photo.
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
Helen Keller def faked it.
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
You didn't know that Helen Keller is dead? It's fine; neither does she.
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.
One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
Why is it okay to hit orphans?
It's not like they can tell their parents.
What do you call a pregnant slave? Buy one get one free.
This kid yelled "Jenga" when we were watching a 9/11 documentary.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
My dick harder than stone, man.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
Q: Why did the math book look so sad?
A: Because of all its problems.