Karen walks into McDonald's.
Lady at the counter: HI what can I get for you today??
Karen: I want 1 SMALL FRIES PLEASE AND MAKE IT SNAPPY LITTLE NOODLE!
Lady at the counter: yes miss.
Karen: I WILL NOW INSPECT THIS.
Lady at the counter: *sweats*
Karen: THIS IS NOT SALTY ENOUGHT! GET ME THE MANAGER KNOW, SKINY NOODLE!
People in Wheelchairs Should really stand up for themselves
I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
My wife asked me to connect more on my feminine side. So I crashed our car and fucked my trainer.
Vagina jokes aren’t funny, period.
Q: What's stronger than family?
A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
what did the retard say when the water to deep- deep deep
dick butt
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
Q: What’s the difference between Black Panther and Batman?
A: Batman “returns.”
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
Where's my sister's friend? Oh, I forgot, we are in Alabama.
