What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
How did Helen Keller die? Her ex gave her plutonium and told her to eat it
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
Just cum.
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
I finally stopped drinking for good.
Now I purely drink for evil.
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
Official orgasm donor.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?
Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."
Roses are red, violets are blue, my heart is dead, I'm such a fool. -Juice Wrld
How can you get free butt plants? Just get your man to fill your butt with natural juices.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
