Worst Jokes Ever
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Vagina?
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
So skinny you have to run around in the shower to get wet.
I don't understand why the Twin Towers were super upset.
Their pizza just got there a lot faster by plane.
abcdefgjiowqdou;rwohieugrhiosrvhionovruohwu.
Why was the emo person dead inside?
Because I stole their insides.
Kid: Hey, why am I an orphan?
Adult: I don't know, ask your parents.
How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb in the middle of the night?
I don't know, I can never see them.
What do you call a body without a nose?
Nobody knows.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why was Kobe a good father?
He took his daughter with him.
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
My cousin: Brother, I lost in a game of Call of Duty: Moe Bill [he was supposed to pronounce it as mobile; however, I left it as it is].
Me: So tell me about it then.
My cousin: I lost to Sum_Baldi.
Me: Somebody? Don’t they have, like, the name of you opponents?
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Baldi. S.U.M_B.A.L.D.I.
Me: Ok, my bad. Continue.
My cousin: I got Sum_Baldi, and 5 seconds later, I got kill[ed] by Sum_Fing_Wong.
Me: It’s not wrong! In Call of Duty, you are suppose to kill or be killed.
My cousin: No, no, no, the name was Sum_Fing_Wong. S.U.M_F.I.N.G_W.O.N.G.
Me: My bad again. Do continue.
My cousin: I got so angry I blow[ed] up.
Me: So you got blowed up, by what weapon?
My cousin: By the game.
Me: [was not expecting that for an answer]
What do you name a family reunion of an orphan?
"Me time."
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
He is looking for children. If you don't know who EDP445 is, look him up.
Be careful around EDP445.
You know what's the most awkward situation in the world? A rapper with erectile dysfunction.
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.