New Jokes - Page 961 - Worst Jokes Ever

What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................

Why don’t orphans play poker?

'Cause they don’t know what a full house is.

Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

Disney just released a new film about a poor kid with cancer. It’s called Finding Chemo.

Are you adopted?

No.

I mean, who would want you?

When I self-harmed one day, my mother told me that it cut her deep. We both found that very amusing.

Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.

What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸

cock teaser

Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?

So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?

I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"

Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?

But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!

Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.

Why is the sand always pissed off?

Because the sand never waves back!

I was raped by mimes once. They did unspeakable things to me.

Interviewer: What are your strengths?

Interviewee: I fall in love easily.

Interviewer: And your weaknesses?

Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...

Santa Claus gives a child a bike. The child was mad. Why? He had no legs.

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!