What’s long and black?
The line at the unemployment office.
Worst Jokes Ever
Sometimes a depressed person is antidepression.
"Fortnite battlepass, I just shit out my ass."
Fortnite, Fortnite, did I mention Fortnite, Fortnite, Fortnite?
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
My uncle died in 9/11. He was in the plane that crashed in the field.
bals
What happened when the emo went through the self-checkout?
Two beeps went off.
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he had someone to call a father.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
How to become a monkey?
Put a red dot on your forehead.
Q: What's black, white and red all over?
A: A blushing zebra? No, Michael Jackson after a Pepsi advert.
Teacher: What do you kids want to be when you grow up?
Kid 1: I want to be a firefighter.
Kid 2: I want to be a police officer.
Kid 3: I want to be dead like both my parents.
Teacher: Ok, everyone pull out your books.
Kid 4: Are we going to ignore what he said?
Teacher: What do you want me to do? Call his parents?
Look, an orphan, let's go beat 'em up.
Q: What's worse than f**king a 2 year old?
A: Wiping the blood off of your clown suit afterwards.
I found a key that works for every door at my school.
Your mom and your dad.
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
