New Jokes - Page 936 - Worst Jokes Ever

Hi, father, I failed the class, you mommy!

"Johnny, why wave?"

"Hi, Goo!"

What is the New York fireman's favorite song?

It's raining men.

What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"

What does a cow say? Moo.

What is "moo becanira?"

Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.

Why do emo kids sneak up on their Vietnamese grandfathers? Because they hope the war experience kicks in.

Why do trees never call emo kids? Because they always hang up on them.

Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.

Imagine being expelled from school for bringing a weapon to school.

What's the difference between emo people and normal people? Normal people have wrists.

I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.

I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.

A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.

She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"

Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.

If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.