Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It only went halfway
Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers!
There are three people on the steps of Heaven. God tells them all he is having a good day and if they make him laugh by telling him how they died, he will let them in.
The first one said, "I just finished a long day of work and I get home, and right as I stepped in, I knew my wife was cheating on me. I searched everywhere and I couldn’t find anybody, so I got a drink and went to the balcony, and then I saw him, hanging off the ledge of the balcony. I kicked his hands, but he wouldn’t fall, so I threw a Refrigerator at him, and I fell with the Refrigerator."
God busted out laughing and let him in.
The next person walked up and God told him the same thing he told the other person. God told him that he didn’t think that he could make him laugh more than the first person. The second guy said, "So get this, I’m a window washer on the 8th floor. I’m washing the windows like normal, and this enraged psychopath walks up and starts kicking my hands, and then he throws a refrigerator at me and I die."
God bursts out laughing so much to where he falls off his chair, and he lets the guy through. The next guy comes up and God tells him the same thing he told the last two people, and he tells him that there is no way that he can make him laugh more than the other two did. So he starts talking. "So get this, I’m in a refrigerator..."
You look at it. You tug on it like a shoe string. You play with it like elastic bubble plastic, but it still never grows.
Miss Kadie, I heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is having a party for kicking out 99999 gay people.
Pastor: Welcome to the gay matters church.
Miss Kadie: Stop that, you know that God hates gay people.
Me: Stop that, vegan teacher.
Pastor: You deserve to die.
- I attack
Why are orphans so bad at baseball? Because they can never find home.
The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough
Why would the chicken not cross the road?
Because it's too old. (The joke is old.) (The chicken is old.)
Why are Americans bad at clash of clans?
Because they have already lost 2 towers
You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
Chris Benoit is like a depressed orphan because he killed his family.
Wanna know why people laugh at you? Because your life is a joke
What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP? The condom was actually useful at one point.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
what dose Michele jackson and a xbox have in common .....
kids turn them on
Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.
Sissy Baka
Bitch
