God damn it. Fuck Christianity. I'm fucking 30 years old and still a virgin.
THAT'S A JOKE GOD DAMMIT!
Little Johnny likes to play with toy guns.
Little Johnny paints them black.
Little Johnny went to a gun store.
Little Johnny made a big mess.
The cemetery people were getting paid.
Yo Father, don't use the baptism bath. I cleaned my anal plug in there.
What?
The holy water gets all the ass off. Don't mind the white stuff. *clears throat*
You know it's so hard to clean my sex toys. Thank you, Jesus, for creating baptism.
Why do they act so emo?
Because they are all retards.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
The two brothers were sitting next to each other. They played with planes all day long. They got too violent, and now their sister (World Trade Center) stands there. The brothers were put up for adoption, and the planes were given back to their owners.
What state starts with an "a a lama"?
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?
A stroke of luck :)
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?They’re always spotted
A guy asked me what I do for a living.
Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
Comment your favorite sport.
like this if you don't like school.
Like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school.
Like this if you are in foster care.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
like this if you have ever been abused.
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
