Why can't orphans play base ball? Because they can't run home
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
Why can orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't find home
did you hear about the baseball game between america and ethiopia? America - 8 Ethiopia - didn't
"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"
Memories: I have ligma. Ligma what? Ligma BALLS.
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
You've heard of anal sex.
You've heard of oral sex.
You've heard of genital sex.
But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up." Nobody stands up. After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone." Little Johnny stands up. "Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?" "Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
News: Ook! says an interviewed monkey.
Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.
Ha ha! Get rickrolled!
What did one candle say to the other?
"Want to go out tonight?"
Tongue twister: Through three cheese trees Three free fleas flew. While these three fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze; freezy trees made these tree's cheese freeze.
That's what made these three fleas sneeze. 👍😀
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six)
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three = six)
What's tree plus tree? Sticks!
