New Jokes - Page 808 - Worst Jokes Ever

Spiderman needs to fight against the emos, new movie idea!

Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.

I like moldy food.

"Never gonna give you up."

If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.

Stop making jokes about disabled people; they can’t stand up for themselves.

What’s the best part of raping an 11 year old girl?

Killing the little bitch after you’ve finished with her.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite type of car on fire? Hot wheels.

Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, what’s the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if they’d sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."

What did the constipated bum say to the other bum?

Piss don't s**t on me!

What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?

Time to get a new watch.

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.

So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”