Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
what is the only reason you can hit an orphan and get away with it?
what are they gonna do?? tell their parents???
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
Why did the twin towers report to the pizza restaurant?
Because they asked for pepperoni but they got plain.
Yo mama so ugly, her birth certificate was an apology.
What do a 100-year-old pornstar and The White Stripes have in common? Icky Thump!
What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
POV: Your mum is a bomber.
When a orphan finds out who their parents are, and then find out they dead
If Bruce Willis (the guy in the Christmas movie Die Hard) dies of a Viagra overdose, would that mean he truly dies hard?
Look at my name and youll see
My brother eats water from the pig factory at 1:00 a.m., and blames a deaf kid, so he ended up going to solitary.
I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
Big chungus
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a bulb?
None, because they all cry in the dark.
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
Did you know that the "f" in "orphans" means family?
