Worst Jokes Ever
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
How do you know the hooker killed herself?
She sniffed the line off the dresser you said not to touch.
Suicide isn't funny, but you can spice it up by wearing a fun hat.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
Why did the depressed person rob a bank? Because you're not killing yourself if a cop does it for you!
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
Friend: Ur sister after you were born. 😭
Me: Ur brother after chemotherapy. 😵
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: Will I survive?
Doctor: Probably not.
Q: Why is America bad at chess?
A: Because they already lost two towers.
What's one piece of stationary gay kids always forget to bring to school? A ruler.
What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?
They both finished the races.
I was going to post a Kobe Briant joke, but the site crashed.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?
Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice cuts, G!" (because they like to cut themselves).
What did one emo kid say to the other? "Nice guts, G!"