Worst Jokes Ever
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
Don't steal. That's the government's job.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
Most of these jokes are plane, but they still hit.
What do you call two natives in a sleeping bag?
Twix.
What do you call two natives in a ditch?
A sleepover.
What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you 'HANDSOME', don't take it as a compliment!
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?
If someone calls you fat, just ignore them. You are bigger than that!
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.