Worst Jokes Ever

Michael Jackson was on a boat with a bunch of children. The boat captain comes up to him and says, "Michael, we've come into some trouble and the boat is about to sink. We need to get off the boat right now." "But what about the children?" The captain said, "F*** them." Michael Jackson responded, "Is there enough time?"

A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.

When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.

Your hairline looks like something that came off the bottom of a Reese's cup.

Why do leftists strive for a literate population?

So people can understand their wall of text memes.

You must be the square root of -1, because you can't be real.

Your mama can't walk up the stairs because she eats too much chips.

Why is Marcus gay? Because he's gay.

What's 6 plus 7?

67.

Ahmed is a bomber for the Twin Towers.

Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.

They call me Mr. Distracted, truly a spastic. Can't talk to my folks cause they say I'm pro- problematic. Really fantastic. Can't focus unless I take meds then it's magic. My brain is like traffic, always fucking active. But never at the right time, pretty fucking tragic it happens.

Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!

Your mum is a Rune Giant.

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

Ahmed is "bombuni guisisni" and Marcus is "bombardilo crocodilo" because Ahmed was late to the plane party and Marcus was first.

Why is Ahmed gay? Because he created 9/11. Hahahahahahahhahahahahaa

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

USA: "Never forget 9/11."

Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"