Worst Jokes Ever
Shout out to the terrorists, your year is starting off with a bang!
Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.
They all call it self-baptism. I call it failed suicide.
I wanna take drowning lessons, but I can't find more than one session.
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
They say give a man an inch, he'll take a mile. What about women? They don't have dicks.
Give a man a match, he'll be warm for hours.
Light the man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?
And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?
Because they're good at separating colors.
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
What can orphans not do in school?
My sister told me a joke.
All she said was "my life."
I'll always remember my grandpa's last words.
"Are you getting the knife?"
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.
God, you’re having a good day?
Me: Yes, beats burning in hell.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Bob the builder.
What did the racist Catholic priest say?
"Martin Luther? Not my king!"