Never jokes
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
"Never going to give you up." That's not what the orphan's parents said.
Why were the students jealous of the orphan?
He never had any homework!
(I'm going to hell for this)
Memes
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.
Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
I never knew what my dad's job was.
One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!