There never was a historical jesus christ. Hey do not even dream of crucifying me.
Why are orphans so skinny? They never learned how to home cook.
Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11
why were the twin towers mad when they ordered pizza
One arived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.
why do orphans have no sense of humor..... i guess they've never heard a Dad Joke
My wife told me I could never ever build a car out of spaghetti , you should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta
-the emo went 2 give the tree a high 5 but the emo was left hanging - how did the gay person die? homocide -why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? he was cutting in line - when does a joke turn into a dad joke? when it leaves and never comes back -I cried when my dad chopped onions. onions was such a good dog -I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away -how is the person over there different the cancer? his dad didn't beat cancer
I hope u like this it took 5 minutes to make. what's_up also has good jokes to favorite him/her/them plz
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays Birthday girl: Oh wow! Parent: Anyone missing? Birthday girl: Your parents
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was I told her I couldn't say never experienced it.
Why you should never borrow money from dwarves? Because they always short 😁😁😁😁
Yo hairline so far, that if you put tables on it, it would NEVER end.
life is never hard until you get hit hard with
If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?
Where can u never take an orphan to dinner?
Family restaurants
just buy emo grass then you will never have to mow your lawn again
Jonny went fishing and he didn’t now how to cast his pole and he asked his friend joe how to cast it and then he cast he only cast 3feet and he never learned how to do it.
I think my dads gay bc he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns
what do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
It was raining sadly all day my wife my 2 daughters and me stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died
Wife:😭😭😭I wish this never happened
Mia our first daughter: momy it’s ok I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby our second daughter: I love u all only if you guys die I won’t but I love you when ur alive 😉😏
Me husband: what kind of nonsense was that you love us when we’re alive but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except abby: abby this is serious mommy’s mother and father died. says Mia: yes your mom is sadly down right now you made her more sad😡🤬.says dad:sniffs* abby I had made a discussion I will take to an orphanage I am sorry 😣 when I amd better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back.says mom:
This was not a joke I just did this for Love 💕
i always ask gay people what lgbtq means but i never get a straight answer
A guy dies and finds himself in Hell. Despondent, he sits on the ground and weeps uncontrollably. Demon: "Why so sad, my friend?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"
Demon: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinkin' man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Demon: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do, is drink. Whiskey, tequila, vodka, beer... We drink till we throw up and then drink some more."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Demon: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it."
Demon: "Alright! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from around the world and smoke our fucking lungs out. If you get cancer, it's ok, you're already dead!"
Guy: "Golly"
Demon: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."
Demon: "Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Craps, blackjack, horse races, you name it."
Guy: "Wow."
Demon: "You like to do drugs?"
Guy: "Well, I love to do drugs. You don't mean..."
Demon: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. Smoke a joint the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, and if you overdose, it's ok... You're already dead!"
Guy: "Neat! I never realized hell was such a swingin' place!"
Demon: "You gay?"
Guy: "Uh, no."
Demon: "Ohhh... You're gonna hate Fridays...."
