Never

Never jokes

In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.

Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?

Person: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes?

Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?

Orphan: MOTHER!

Person: Let's go home!

Orphan: Uhhhh

*She was never to be seen again*

Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?

A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.

Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"