Nearness jokes

There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.

As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.

Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.

What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?

They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.

I made a website for orphans.

It's all about parents who want children near their location.

Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.

But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.

There are women complaining about being r@ped.

JUST DON'T GO NEAR DARK ALLEYS WITH A SPORTS BRA ON. 😁

So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, "What are you doing?"

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."

Hey, join me. I be near the tree. Bring things to.

There were people having sex when it started sinking. Legend tells when you go near the ship you can see semen, and if you listen close enough you'll hear them moaning.

Now that's a hell of a ghost story!

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!

Site nearly as dead as my trim.

You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.

It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.

If being near immortal was a normal thing, I bet wanting to die would've been too.

So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.

Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.

These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.

The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.

After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.

Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"

When the school lets you near children again...

Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.