Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They slow down near schoolzones.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved...and shot her.
Commander: "Fire a warning shot" Soldier: "Sir, this is a M32 grenade launcher" Commander: "potato, potato, just fire" Soldier: *fires M32 grenade launcher near a pre-school* Commander: "They're trying to run, TAKE THEM DOWN!"
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans!đđđđ
Your so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near
Grandpa said no phone near the table so I said your not allowed near the school
When I die I what to have a piece of paper near me giving a clue on how I died, like, "I want everyone to miss me except for this bullet," or," You didn't hang with me but guess what did?"
when the school lets you near children again...
It's getting near midnight and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
âGrandma, tell me a story!â I said as we huddled near the campfire âAlright,â She said âOnce, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches.â âWhere is Timmy now?â I asked Grandma pointed to the campfire.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall. The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty. After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks. Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!".
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger. A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
So I saw a bag full children near a dumpster, I guess we know where the Orphans are when the parents didnât want them..
Wouldnât want to hope a Catholic Priest comes along, otherwise the Priest will have new sex toys..
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Mary has a house near a forrest she lives with her bro and she once said how many trees are there and her bro said: idk. She said: tree
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you, I hope Scotland gets freedom I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
Where do golf players practice?
Near a gulf.
One way to not pick up girl is to say, âare you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you.â I tried it on a girl and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
