Name jokes

My girlfriend asked me to name all the women I've slept with. I probably should've stopped when I got to her.

Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.

Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.

Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?

Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!

What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!

Why do they call priests "father?" Because it's too suspicious to call him "daddy!"

So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.

His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"

My name is Dan, I wear white Vans, I have a gun, get in the van!

What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.

What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.

My friend told me to name a country in Africa.

So I said, "Hungry."

What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?

Mario Kart.

What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?

Morgan.

What do you call a goat?

A goat.

So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.

One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.

Louis Day is Steven Hawkins' identical twin.

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

What do you call a guy with a long chin?

Chino-Chinese

Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.

I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.

What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?

Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."

What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.

What do you call someone who is extra virgin?

Mrs. Frame.