What’s the name of OceanGate’s next submarine?
Judging by the breathing conditions on their subs, I bet they’ll call it the "George Floyd."
Right, I have a dog and his name is Syndrome, and whenever he is good, I go "Good Syndrome," but whenever he is naughty, I go "Down Syndrome."
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?
Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)
Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
The inventor of the umbrella was just going to call it "brella," but he hesitated.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
What do you call a Mexican Transformer? Optimus Juan!
The M and D in orphan stands for Mom and Dad.
Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"
The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."
A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"
The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."
Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."
What do you call a fish with out eye?
a fsh
One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"
A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.
I like dicks... sporting goods.
What do you call a crippled man? Alex keating hahahahahahahahahahahh!
Guys, the person that said "suck a dick" was Mase. His real name is Mason, so ya.
My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
