Friend: Name one gay person off the top of your head.
Me: Me.
What [is] another name for an abortion?
Canceling your delivery.
Mary Rose sat on a pin. Mary Rose!
What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?
John fucked them both in the rear.
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
Imagine if you were an Arabic person shopping at Walmart with your son.
Now imagine he got lost and you had to start calling out his name.
...Now imagine his name is "Allahu Akbar."
What do you call an Indian babysitter?
Nanny.
Funny how Hawking rhymes with talking and walking and he can't do either. And first 4 letters of his Christian name spells step and he also can't do that.
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
What do you call a guy with a long chin?
Chino-Chinese
My name is Giselle.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They're his watch dogs.
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
"Let girls live" is 9 years old, OMG, right?
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
What do you call an Indian gravedigger?
Digdeep.
What did the father name his daughter with no legs?
Peggy.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!
Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on, Karien.
Karien: Well I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!
Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek, he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.
Karien: That is so boring!
Daiana: Well just work with me please?
Karien: I'll give you a day... 24 hours, Mom!
