My jokes

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path."

People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer.

My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

We wrote letters to a kid with cancer. My letter read, "It's a bumpy road, but soon you will have a straight path." People didn't realize it was meant for his heart monitor.

So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.

I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.

Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.

She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.

I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.

My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.

What did the lungs say to the cigar?

"You take my breath away..."

I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

I like my coffee like my men, long and black.

The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.

What does PEMDAS stand for?

Please End My Depression And Suffering.

I like my women like I like my coffee.

Dark, rich, and imported.

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.

The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"

Wanna hear a funny joke?

My life.

My life.