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Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

Q: My scale had my phone number on it. Wandering why, I looked up only to see an elephant in my face...

My grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.

Teacher: What's your favorite animal?

Me: Desert Eagle.

Teacher: Why?

Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.

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    • My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.

    Someone stole my grass today. I went to the police, and they said: "What's wrong?" I said, "How could you tell something was wrong?" They replied, "You were looking forlorn."

    So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

    Toto is at school and asks if he can go to the bathroom. The teacher says no.

    Then, she asks Toto, “Where is the biggest river in the world?”

    “Under my bench,” he replies.

    Me and my stepmom went into the forest.

    I think I hid the body pretty well, but now I have to hide the gun.

    So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

    3 year old boy: 1... 2...uh....?

    Older brother: Ooh I know! 1, 2, 3 get the fuck off my apple tree!

    My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

    I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.

    And then I noticed that my cat was missing.

    My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:

    Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!

    No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.

    Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.

    Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.

    Teacher: Why?

    Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.