My jokes
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
Me: I have an arrow in my head.
My friend: What's the point of that?
Me: Of the arrow?
Friend: No!
Me: Probably the flint.
I just wanna say thanks to everyone who favorited my jokes and commented! Thanks!
Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.
Man #1: Pretend your age is a level, I am Level 20.
Man #2: My son died at level 4.
Man #1: Lol, your son is a noob.
My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.
He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?
Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.
My friends:
Maya: I only get 9 hours of sleep.
Josh: 9 hours? I get 7 hours of sleep.
Noah: You get 7? I get 4 hours of sleep.
Me: You guys are getting sleep...
When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."
Okay, I'm on my last nerve when people say "Water Shark Guy" and other things THAT ARE NOT MY NAME.
This is my name: watersharky!
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
Because they don’t deserve rights!
Do you know why I finger women with my left hand?
They don’t deserve rights!
Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.
Me: I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.
Old man: I ran over five miles today.
My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.
Eat my ass!